What We Need to Do to Win

A Special Holiday Message from GLPM President Bert Easter

18 December 2003

Everyone is talking about gay marriage. All of my friends are talking about marriage. Straight folks I know are asking my opinion. Allies in the groups I'm involved in ask me, "What are you guys doing on this issue?" Some want to know, "Why this fight now?" Some in the gay and lesbian community are not even on board yet for this fight.

Like it or not, there is a battle being waged over our rights. So I have been thinking this holiday season about what we need to do to win this thing.

I keep coming back to one answer: coming out.

We need real spokespeople for marriage equality at kitchen tables across South Carolina this holiday. Polls have shown that Americans who know family members, neighbors, coworkers, and friends who are gay are more likely to support lesbian and gay equality. Once they know they know gay and lesbian people that they already respect and love, they begin to get our issues. They find it's suddenly no longer radical to think that a coworker should not be fired because he or she is gay. It becomes easier to speak up when someone tells fag jokes. It becomes possible for them to consider attending a civil marriage -- maybe my marriage -- which would extend over 1000 rights and responsibilities to me and my partner of almost 9 years. They might even find themselves buying a lovely wedding gift for the gay couple down the block.

I am asking for my wedding gift now. Don't bother to get me another toaster. What I want is a phone call to your legislators, and a nicely wrapped chat with your mother, your minister, and your coworkers.

This is your chance to play a role in a revolution — to change the hearts and minds of folks who already love and respect you. They might already know who you are, but trusting them with your story might even bring them over as an ally in this battle. And in South Carolina we need more allies.

We also need to raise funds to begin a broader conversation with fair-minded South Carolinians, who may not have us sitting at their kitchen tables this holiday. We would like to place some ads in the newspaper to address this issue. GLPM also plans to host town meetings on marriage. We are turning to our allies to help out with this, and I am turning to you. What can you — what can we — do?

First, come out. Coming out will change some hearts and minds around your kitchen table this holiday season.

Second, call your legislators. Four SC representatives are sponsors of the anti-gay Federal Marriage Amendment. The FMA has been proposed in both the House and Senate. Call them and tell them you oppose the Federal Marriage Amendment. (Their numbers are attached below. I assume you already have your mother's number. You can also look your legislators up.

Third, if you can (and we all can), make a contribution to help bring this conversation to the greater South Carolina community. Make a holiday gift to our work. Tax-deductible donations may be sent to the Carolina Rainbow Family Coalition (CRFC), the Community Center's nonprofit foundation. Or send a donation to GLPM (non-deductible and harder to raise), money that can be targeted for needed political work. Send your donations to:

GLPM / CRFC
PO Box 12648
Columbia SC 29211

Thank you for taking time this busy holiday season to read my plea. I hope that you can help us in this struggle toward equality.

I promise three things. It will be worth the struggle. I will invite you to my wedding. And there will be dancing!

Happy Holidays!

— Bert Easter

Contact Information for Legislators

Consult your voter registration card to verify your district number. You can also look your legislators up.

House of Representatives

Senate